Change Part 2

It was September of last year when I was sitting downstairs reading a book that gave ideas on how to live a missional life. I was frustrated with God. I was ready to go and do, He just had not told me where or what. I told Him yet again, "God, my yes is on the table, what do you want from me?!"

This time He responded.

God talks to me often in these one-liners that go straight to the heart of the matter. No, it is not an audible voice. But I know it when I hear it, and everytime it happens I am overwhelmed and overjoyed and humbled.

And this time in response to my frustrated question, He replied, "Really? Because you are sitting in something that is really big and in the way."

Wow. Well, "Okay, okay. You want me to sell my house, but then what?"

Silence. Or "crickets" as the Allens would say.

I got a powerful confirmation that God really did want us to sell our house a few days later, but that was it. No information on why or on what the next step would be was given.

There is an amazing organization in Uganda called New Hope. New Hope is an orphanage unlike most others in that it puts the children in "families" with a Ugandan mother and father and they all live there together. New Hope is also a school for the children living there as well as several hundred other children from the surrounding village. And New Hope has a 5-month training course for people interested in ministering to orphans. It sounded perfect, and in my attempt to get a plan it was just what my family should do. Corey and I filled out lengthy applications, got letters of reference, and started praying. I was supposed to go and visit New Hope while I was in Uganda.

But when I got to Uganda, I did not feel the way I thought I would. I was still willing to go, I just did not feel pulled. And when it came time to visit New Hope, I did not even want to go. It is funny how God can just completely remove a desire from my heart.

God did not want me in Uganda. He knew the true desires of my heart were in Ethiopia.

I have already written about our day at the trash dump, and about how I knew that place and those kids were my ministry. I told my husband that I left a piece of myself there, and I just don't think I will be whole again until I go back.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

And thankfully, God is allowing me to go back in March for a week and in June with my family to stay for the summer. I cannot even tell you how excited I am to go, and how over the top excited I am about all the amazing people that I am going with! What about you, you wanna come with us?

More details to come!!